Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize