do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
