I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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