hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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