whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
