in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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