so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
