I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize