I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize