If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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