5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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