it wasn't lemon gatorade
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
