She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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