so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
