Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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