i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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