I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
