goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
