mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize