I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
