I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
