Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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