I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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