2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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