honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
