went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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