Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize