Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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