Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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