Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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