Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
BRING THE BAGELS
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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