we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My feet surprised me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
