talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
