smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
