So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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