It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
