He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
