I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
