I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
