We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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