I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
