there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
