the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
