What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
