i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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