the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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