i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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