I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
