i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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