I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize