This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you traded sex for a burrito?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
