Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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