Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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