I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
and you fell through a lawn chair
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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