I cannot find my penis.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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