And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
