so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Still dying that you shit outside
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
