I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
